Strange Dream

I dreamt, this morning,
that I'd had a fight with my mother
and she'd gone to stay
with my sister-in-law
(my husband's sister,
not my brother's wife).
And when I get back
from whereverI had to go to,
ready to apologise, and to hug her
I see her at home, sitting,
forlorn, thinner and paler than I've ever seen her
in a dull peachy beige saree,
her eyes bereft, and I know that she's a widow
which is really very strange,
as she predeceased my father
nearly four years ago..........

Settling in!

November is almost over and this post has been sadly neglected, not even a quarter written.
My maid has been ill and absent, and I have a sinkful of dishes awaiting me, but this is today's resolution- completion of this post!


It started with the container with our unaccompanied earthly goods entering the building complex, and parking itself outside our building, after a delay of a few hours because of the rain. The rain seems to be chasing our stuff since the time we were leaving Kolkata!

It now seems like a lifetime ago that we were dealing with the madness of unpacking. Finding new homes for your things in a new space is challenging, to say the least, particularly when there are several men working simultaneously and you are trying to answer several questions and also be in several different rooms at the same time! Thankfully we were still staying with our older daughter, so we could go home and rest our weary bones after a hard day's work. It was two days of utter chaos, different people opening different boxes in different rooms. On the first day, the 10th October, I had sat near the front door, ticking off each item from the packers' master list while the SRE ensured that they went into the correct rooms. On day two, the workers unpacked almost everything, apart from the boxes of books and CDs which we planned to unpack later, when we had space for them.
Two of our new neighbours sent over large quantities of delicious prasad as it was Ashtmi, some of which we shared with all the workers, the rest was more than enough for our lunch. Our daughter also came in, with her electric kettle, teabags and a delicious doughnut and plans for lunch. It was a relief having the packers finally leave that evening while we started the slow process of arranging the house.
My younger daughter's maid helped me arrange the kitchen one afternoon. She has been part of the family for many years, and it is a pleasure to work with her.
One neighbour suggested that her part-time help also work for us, so that was organised too.
(She's taken a lot of sick leave, though, which makes life a bit difficult).
We moved in on the 18th October, the day the gas line was connected.( No more cylinders, we have piped gas).

The fridge fitted into its designated area in the kitchen. It is a big fridge, so the SRE was a bit concerned. Given that he has retired and rarely travels, I can  now drop the Sometimes and retain the Resident Engineer! After more than seven years I actually have my fridge inside the kitchen!

We had our bed assembled in the guest room, as we needed another double bed.

The master bedroom was a dumping ground for several days. We bought the new bed and finally moved into the same room that our clothes were occupying.

We bought office furniture for the Resident Engineer's home office, where he spends much of his day.

It wasn't easy adjusting our drawing room furniture to a smaller space, but after a frank suggestion from our son-in-law, I removed a couple of chairs and our living room is spacious once more. It is flooded with sunlight every morning, while the bedrooms get the afternoon sun!

We also discovered the wonderful Amar Colony furniture market, which we had heard about from our daughters, both of whom have acquired beautiful things there. My first purchase was this full length mirror. I prefer to tie my sarees with the help of a long mirror.

The laundry hamper is from Dastkar Haat! It was wonderful, discovering new places in Delhi.

We hunted, unsuccessfully, in several places for a bookshelf, and finally took ourselves back to Amar Colony. This time we were more familiar with the place. It is a market of several rows, each of which is several yards deep. There are all kinds of antiques and restored furniture, as well as new stuff, some of which is 'distressed'. We walked down several rows, almost finalising one bookshelf or the other, while I insisted on going till the very end, where I found perfection!!!! This was a double shelf, not very tall, way beyond our budget but utterly beautiful and utterly irresistible: it is many mutual presents rolled into one!

We kept it empty for a few days as we'd bought it just before Diwali, which was a busy time for us.
Unpacking books and CDs was a big job- many books had to be put back into cartons and kept away in the staff/store room.I also spent a couple of sleepless nights worrying about the carton of my favourite CDs that seemed to have vanished, but it was fortunately located.

We had a lovely time at Diwali, spending time with family. There was much coming and going.

We also enjoyed a visit to a Diwali Mela with the kids. While eating interesting things like moong pakodi, mirchi vada, moong dal halwa and rabdi with jalebi, we made sure that we were drinking mineral water!

There were lovely stalls with goods from all over the country, which we enjoyed looking at but were not interested in buying as we are still somewhat overwhelmed by packing and unpacking our material goods.
Since we are presently living in a rented place while waiting for our own apartment to be completed, in about a year or so, our future holds one more house move. We should have recovered from this one by then!

Happy 80th Birthday to my Chacha!!!!!!

Today's the day to celebrate my Chacha.

I remember meeting him for the first time when I was about nine or so. Earlier meetings are way beyond the scope of my memory- I would have been far too young to remember anyone.

My father had been posted to England when I was two years old, and we returned to Delhi when I was eight. Chacha lived in Bhilai, in what was then Madhya Pradesh, now Chhattisgarh.
We had many 'aunts' and 'uncles' in our six years in London, but we wanted to know who our parents' actual brothers and sisters were. At the time, for us, my sister and I, they were strangers in the black and white photographs that were painstakingly air-mailed to our parents. Given the distance and the expense in those far off years, neither my mother nor father could attend their younger brothers' weddings, so the new additions to the family remained mysteries to them as well as to us. Our local aunties and uncles provided much support, kinship and friendship- our parents could travel to Europe for two weeks because one family insisted that they go, while they looked after my sister and I, which was wonderful, but they were not our parents' siblings............

But Chacha sounded exotic! It helped that he'd lived in Russia, and the 'cha cha cha' sound seemed like fun, too!

The first time that I remember meeting him was when he came to Delhi when his young son was about 15 months old, and Chacha would take us to the nearby park with him, and sing to him, Hum bhi agar bacchey hotey., and try to make the baby say 'shakarkandi'.  (He could say 'shakar' and 'kandi' separately, but not together!!!!!). I remember him coming to Delhi every couple of years with his family, bringing each new son as an infant or toddler, sometimes driving all the way from Bhilai, meeting various members of the family at different cities en route. These visits ensured a lasting bond between all of us cousins, which is something I cherish a great deal. We may not meet often, but when we do there is a level of closeness that goes back to our childhood.
We loved the visits when Chacha brought his car- we had glorious trips to the zoo, and various parks and monuments in Delhi, and I remember my sister and I attending a wonderful Ravi Shankar concert at Sir Shankarlal Hall with Chacha.

Chacha sings. He's often found humming, or singing to himself, and he's arguably the most tuneful member of our family. We share our love of classical music and old Hindi film songs and the eternal KL Saigal and many others.......
He writes, from his heart, mostly about his own life experiences. He hasn't posted much on his blog recently, but often writes for his local newspaper.
He is amazingly young at heart. He is tech savvy, and started his blog at the grand age of 77.
His laptop is a constant companion!
He has achieved a great deal in his life, yet is completely self-effacing.
He is fun to be around, and manages to be cheerful and positive even under the most difficult circumstances, of which he has faced several. He is disciplined and takes good care of himself, and is quite fit and active despite diabetes and aching knees. I pray that he continues to enjoy good health for many years to come.

The childhood memories are strong, but what is even more special to me is the bond between us that was forged much later, once the SRE and I returned to India in 1984 and were living in Lucknow.
Chacha visited us there a couple of times, his oldest son was married there, and somehow, over the years, we became allies. He and the SRE and my cousins all enjoy each others company.
Chacha has been an exemplary brother, insisting that my parents travel to Bhilai for Daddy's prostate surgery. Whenever my father was hospitalised, Chacha would drop everything and come and be with him, providing tremendous support to all of us. He even managed the paperwork for getting a refund of monies spent in hospital from Bharat Sarkar, which was tedious in the extreme. Once we came to  Kolkata, he and Chachi, (who is generous and wise and kind and deserves a post of her own) came to stay with my parents while the SRE took me on my first ever trip to the USA, where we were also visiting two of Chacha's sons. My mother would recall those three weeks with great joy and appreciation, as they'd never had that much  uninterrupted time together before or since.
I cannot forget the tears in Chacha's eyes when he visited my mother in the hospital, after her stroke.
He was a pillar of strength for us all after her demise, when he came again for the final Satsang.
That was the last time he met my father, as he was in the US when he passed away...........

In 2011, the SRE was going to be away for several days around Diwali, and suggested that I spend that time with our kids in Delhi. To me, though, it seemed an ideal time to go to Chacha's place- I'd last visited him decades ago, before we'd got married. I had a wonderful time and was thoroughly pampered by everyone! The photograph above was taken then. Last October the SRE accompanied me to Bhilai during the Puja vacation, during which we also went to Kanha National Park. When our young nephew in Nagpur died so suddenly last December, we travelled via Raipur and Bhilai, as getting a direct flight was impossible. Even spending those few hours at home was a great comfort to us at a very difficult time.

Chacha, all of this past year I had made grand plans of being with you on your eightieth birthday, being with you and all my dear ones in Bhilai, celebrating this great day together. Our sudden move to Noida made it too difficult to actualise, but I know you will understand. I thought of sending you a present, but sending you material objects seems meaningless. These words are completely inadequate, a poor attempt at sharing what you mean to me: an ally, a friend, a wise elder, someone I am so thankful to have in my life..........

Exit Notes!

Our last few days in Kolkata now seem like a dream: farewell  meals and meetings with friends, a Satsang at home on the last Sunday before we left, (which was so beautiful and so moving that I found it hard to control my tears); a delightful, though all-too-brief visit from our daughter-in-law.......
Gandhi Jayanti was when we packed our personal luggage and isolated it in the corner of one room. The packers invaded our house on the morning of the 3rd , and a whirlwind reigned all over, as they were a large team and we were outnumbered. They were experts at dismantling/packing /wrapping/numbering. By the evening of the 4th October we had some 163 packages ready for despatch. We were still staying in the house as we had the landlord's beds and air conditioner in my parent' room, and decided to use old sheets, cushions and towels that we could give to our maid before we left.
Too sleepy to get up and check, I wondered whether the packers had even opened the cutlery drawer in the glass-fronted sideboard.

While reading a restaurant review in the morning paper, a mention of saffron triggered off a memory of my cutlery drawer, in which I'd kept a beautiful saffron box from Iran. The packers had not opened the drawer, and were most abashed about it, and promised to pack it once the rest of the loading was done.

I was saddened to see that some of the loaders looked far too old for such heavy work,but they were an enthusiastic crew. This old gentleman had a fabulous moustache, and was quite happy to pose for a photograph!

Kolkata has had a heavy, long monsoon this year, and I was worried about the cardboard cartons getting wet in the rain. God was very kind, and the day was mostly bright and sunny. But, after the truck had been loaded, we had the deluge to beat all deluges- I've seen very heavy rain in my seven years in Kolkata, but never anything like this. We had the house cleaned up thoroughly, quite astounded by the amount of trash that emerged from various corners. We said our farewells to Meena, my trusted helper of over seven years, who had even helped me unpack when I moved to Kolkata, and Anil, the boy who kept my bathrooms and fans scrubbed and shining. Then a young man from the SRE's office came to take charge of the house, and that marked the end of a rich and eventful chapter in our lives. Arun drove us through flooded roads to the company guest house, where we bathed and changed, and then went for a lovely, intimate dinner at a cousin's home.

We had decided to settle our Tolly Club dues before we left. I had to capture the SRE's pensive look as he overlooked the green......

We went to meet some old friends who couldn't come and see us because their dog was very ill. (He passed away a couple of days later). Back to the guest house for lunch and a nap.  Some dear friends were coming over for a farewell cup of tea with us. After a pleasant hour or so together we went out to see them off, only to discover that our driver, Arun, had had a dizzy spell in the bathroom and had a big wound at the back of his head. Fortunately, our friends hadn't left, so they took him to the doctor and called his family. (The poor man had to have nine stitches in his scalp). We called for a taxi, and reached the airport well in time. All sentimental thoughts about leaving Kolkata were completely overshadowed by our concern for Arun, who has served us so well for over seven years. Each time he'd drop us at the airport, he would say, "God bless you", in English, so this departure seemed strangely incomplete. (We still don't know why he had the fall. But he's sounding cheerful, and having the sutures removed today).

Our younger son and older daughter were at the airport to receive us.
A new chapter of our lives begins!

Joyful ears!

Today I'm the girl
with flowers in her ears,
stars in her ears
Flowers like stars,
emerald and ruby,
star like flowers,
flower like stars
Happy stars
Farewell flowers
Embedded in silver
navaratna stones
and tiny black roses
Happy floral ears,
happy stellar ears
a tourmaline necklace,
so subtle, so fine...
I couldn't resist it,
it had to be mine,
Gifts from this city,
my love of seven years
I lived a great life here,
rich in much that I love
(I'm nearly in tears).
But no, I'll wear these flowers
with their magical powers
to restrain my fears,
and dam up those tears
with sparkling and happy
stars in my ears,
flowers in my ears,
the chimes of the future
alive in my ears.......

Farewell, Kolkata

After a sudden turn of events and a fairly tumultuous August, the SRE and I have decided to leave Kolkata and relocate to the NCR.
The gods seem to be looking favourably on this move.
We found an apartment that we liked on the very first day, the fourth one that we saw.
It helped that our older daughter had put us in touch with an excellent property dealer, and had already told him of our basic requirements.
It helped that it's just the two of us, who need a place to rent for the next couple of years, while our own apartment is completed.
(When I went through the thirty-five or forty odd apartments I'd seen in Kolkata, finding something that also met my parents' specific needs was very high on my list of priorities).

It is located mid-way between the homes of three of our children, which is wonderful.
I can see us being thoroughly spoiled by them!

Kolkata blessed me with some amazing friends, both old and new. You know who you are..........

Kolkata was from where I travelled extensively (for me), both within the country and abroad.

Kolkata was where my parents spent their final years.....
Both of them died peacefully at home, within three and a half months of each other......
Their room is still known as their room, though many many visitors have stayed there since they left us.
I spend many restful moments in that room, imbued as it is with a peaceful atmosphere, which feels like my father's gentle hand upon my brow..........
My mother would smile and wave from their balcony as I returned from my morning walk.
I try and forget the extremely painful images of the last few months of her life, especially those weeks after her stroke when she was fed through a tube inserted into her nose, unable to speak, her eyes following us,  my sister and I, whenever we left her bedside.......
My father slowly fading away, growing weaker by the day, despite all investigations and treatment, broken -hearted when my mother returned home from hospital, a shadow of the woman she was........
The crematorium at Keoratala, their ashes kept in the nearby gurudwara until it was time to immerse them in
the Hooghly, from which their mortal remains would have long washed out to the sea.......

Much joy, too!
When we moved to Kolkata, our older son moved too,
to Columbia University, New York, for his doctorate.
He's completed it and moved to his new life in a new state, as an assistant professor.
Last summer, he brought his wife to this home of ours for the very first time..........

The younger son, who'd been, of necessity a boarder from an early age,
obtained his law degree from Kolkata!
Though he stayed on campus, home was for weekly visits,
sprawled on the leather couch, often with friends who, as many youngsters have done, enriched our lives......

Both girls came when they could, and we enjoyed so much of my Kolkata together.........
Kewpie's and sarees and of course New Market, footwear and silver jewellery, Thai food at Benjarong,
and lycra blouses from Jhil Mil, requested by so many of their friends.

I know I will miss so much of this city.
So very much...........

I was so happy to be able to attend my natal Satsang here, each Sunday evening, after a break of several years, because of living in far off places. Even if I dozed off, I would be glad that I went!

Movies, concerts, theatre, exhibitions, ceramics, book launches and Lit Fests, the fabulous Akatha Kahaani which I was privileged to host.
Dover Lane- I will miss those wonderful night long performances which both exhausted me and enchanted me!

The trees I had grown to love, near our home, on my morning walk route, and all across this verdant city.
Good old Tolly Club with its sweeping green, and trees, birds and lurking jackals, as well as some fabulous meals. I never swam there as much as I'd hoped to......
The SRE learned to play golf here!

My trusted driver, who has served us so faithfully all these years.
My maid, who has helped me from the very day our luggage was unloaded.
The girl in the courier office who shed tears when I told her of our imminent departure.
The people in my building, and the little boys next door- two small acrobats!
Their mother and I have been planning a coffee date since forever......

The wonderful people who visited us, and all those who came and stayed.....
The huge beds that came with the house, and the nice sideboard and the monster sideboard!
I will miss you all.

It was a great chapter in our lives, closing now, as a new one unfolds.....

May God's blessings be with us, and with all of those we leave behind.......

Alert Security!

When we reached the exit door of the supermarket, as always the security guard examined our bill,
(we had just the one bag of fruit and vegetables) and then, most unusually, asked us to move to the side. Our bill had one unnamed item billed at one rupee. The guard was well aware that there was nothing in the store that was sold for a rupee, so we pulled out all the items and counted them and tallied the number of items on the bill. I had bought a pomelo for thirty rupees, and it had been billed a second time for one rupee. The guard sent one of his minions to the cash counter to get the bill corrected, and he returned shortly with our bill and a one rupee coin. The security guard apologised for delaying us, and seemed most pleasantly surprised when both the SRE and I praised him for his sincerity and his attentiveness towards his work.

I don't know what opportunities he will get in his life, but I do hope he always has the satisfaction of a job well done.