Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Long time no Nash

Tough times require a little sprinkling of Uncle Ogden's wisdom, methinks!
What I find particularly fascinating about his writing is his insight into the feminine psyche, despite him being one of what we women often disparagingly refer to as 'these men.'
This is from a collection of his poems called The Primrose Path, published in 1935.
Not much has changed since then!
I dedicate this poem to my young friend Lavanya who is still learning these almost universal truths about men and matrimony.

What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner Or Later

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with.
And with whom they breakfast with and sup with.
They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,
And forget anniversaries,
And when they have been particularly remiss
They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss,
And when you tell them about something awful they have done they just
look unbearably patient and smile a superior smile,
And think, Oh she'll get over it after a while.
And they always drink cocktails faster than they can assimilate them,
And if you look in their direction they act as if they were martyrs and
you were trying to sacrifice, or immolate them,
And when it's a question of walking five miles to play golf they are very
energetic but if it's doing anything useful around the house they are
very lethargic,
And then they tell you that women are unreasonable and don't know
anything about logic,
And they never want to get up or go to bed at the same time as you do,
And when you perform some simple common or garden rite like putting
cold cream on your face or applying a touch of lipstick they seem to
think that you are up to some kind of black magic like a priestess of Voodoo.
And they are brave and calm and cool and collected about the ailments
of the person they have promised to honor and cherish,
But the minute they get a sniffle or a stomachache of their own, why
you'd think they were about to perish,
And when you are alone with them they ignore all the minor courtesies
and as for airs and graces, they utterly lack them,
But when there are a lot of people around they hand you so many chairs
and ashtrays and sandwiches and butter you with such bowings and
scrapings that you want to smack them.
Husbands are indeed an irritating form of life,
And yet through some quirk of Providence most of them are really very
deeply ensconced in the affection of their wife.


starry eyed said...

I ROFLed at this and showed it to my SH...and all he saw was that men are brave and cool and calm and logical!!!

Poppins said...

Howlarious! And Starry that would be just on par with them. These men!

Phoenixritu said...

Ahh that is vintage Nash! Love Nash myself but havent read him for a long time

Preeti Aghalayam aka kbpm said...

so awesome!

Lavanya said...

So true, Dips, so true. Uncle Ogden nailed it!

And like starry eyed said, no menz will look beyond the "calm and logical" bit, unf. Which is why the smart Nash wrote it to women, i suppose!

and thankoo for the dedication!! Much learning to do, I see!

Usha said...

Dipali, I tagged you to participate in a international women's day contest conducted by Indusladies. Details at my blog. Please participate.

Unknown said...

Dear old Uncle Ogden and dear Dipali for feeding us this bits from time to time !

Shekhar said...

My parents want me to get married soon. I think I'm gonna refer to this poem as a rule-book for preparation. :D

Sue said...

You didn't dedicate it to me but you may well have. Am so tired of these mens and I don't even have a good reason for it!

mim said...

nash i heart you

Trishna said...

something for you here-