Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Brother's birthday

You would have been seventy today.

I can imagine the fun,
the secret plans,
the surprise party, perhaps,
And your delight at your impending
if only you'd been around.....

Where are you, I wonder?
Do you know how much
you are missed?
Will you, can you come back
as your own grandchild?

Questions with no answers,
questions that all spring from
the original question,
the unanswerable why.

Why did you have to go
so young,
(well, relatively so)
so suddenly?
So permanently?

I think your prayers were answered,
but much, much too soon.
You hated the thought
of being old and helpless,
incapacitated the way
our father was.

(But you know,
he wasn't so badly off
when you saw him last-
you missed the hardest part,
watching him die slowly,
over days and weeks,
the life slowly leaching out of him).

God listened to you, I guess:
No illness, no incapacity:
A departure so sudden
that it left us all reeling.......

Several years have passed now,
but how I wish you'd been here
for your seventieth birthday.


Jo Chopra McGowan said...

Beautiful poem. Losing a sibling! What a terrible grief.

dipali said...

@Jo Chopra McGowan: Thank you. Some dates trigger off the memories.....

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Your grief is so palpable. How I wish you never had to face this loss. Big hugs, dearest D!

dipali said...

@ Mamma mia! Me a Mamma?: if only, if only...... This is one of the harshest realities I've ever faced. Big hugs to you too, my friend.