Mumu Shelley: a brilliant new film

 

Batul Mukhtiar's new film is a delight. It starts with a very very familiar desperation: the need for a loo! Aiman Mukhtiar plays the role of Shelley, the girlfriend of the omni-absent Mishti. Mishti is supposed to be meeting her at her (Mishti's) cool Mumu Didi's home, so that Mumu can help Mishti come out of the closet to her family.

Mumu, (played by Pubali Sanyal), however, battles demons of her own. Her first (sun-hatted indoors, in the evening) appearance has her politely pleading with her husband to attend the dinner party she is hosting that evening. But is she? She is cooking vast quantities of food, assisted, or not, by a reluctant Shelley, who has happily imbibed some strange looking cocktails prepared by Mumu, but no other guests seem to be coming. Shelley keeps calling Mishti, who never appears. No other guest either appears, or calls to apologize for not coming. Nor does the host. Is Mumu delusional, or merely deluding herself? 

The equations between Mumu and Shelley change over the course of the evening. Beautiful performances by both the actors, a fascinating set, a gamut of emotions, much learning by both protagonists over the course of a mere fifty minutes!

Kudos to Aiman Mukhtiar for writing this brilliant script!

Showing online at the South Asian Feminist Festival at doculive.blogspot.com, from 4 p.m. (IST) on 3rd December upto 11 a.m. (IST) on 13th December 2021.

Do watch!

Not reviews at all, but books that I have liked immensely

 Patna Blues, by  Abdullah Khan. 

I finally read it, after planning to do so for a long while. I am so glad I read it. Grounded, real, moving, heartbreaking . Looking forward to his upcoming work.

Diwali in Muzaffarnagar by Tanuj Solanki

I first read his story 'My Friend Daanish' on a Facebook link, and was hooked. Till a few years ago I was blissfully unaware of the extent of communal disharmony in Muzaffarnagar, but knowing about it made it compelling to learn more. Tanuj Solanki has an insider's perspective. All of the stories in this collection provoke much thought. Some are searing. His perspectives are uniquely humane, and he writes with an intimacy that draws you into his characters' lives.

I also read his new novel, The Machine is Learning, which deals with very fundamental ethical issues within a corporation, and the lives that they impact. Looking forward to more from this brilliant young man.

                                                                                                  

Alipura by Gyaan Chaturvedi

A close look at a family's life in Alipura, in Bundelkhand. Dealing with poverty, academic failure, rowdyism, godmen, the apparently endless oppression of women, love across caste lines, a match making uncle, his four nephews and niece, (the children of his widowed sister, an amazing character in her own right), it is a richly compelling, rollicking read. Written with great humour, (and a vast array of cuss words, decently camouflaged) it holds you completely in thrall. Brilliantly translated from the Hindi by Salim Yusufji.

These books are my most recent reads. Other delightful ones are buried in my memory, and might be resurrected some day.

Book Review: What We Know About Her

 I first heard of (and heard)  Krupa Ge at an online event featuring Nisha Susan's delightful book, The Women Who Forgot to Invent Facebook and Other Stories. That was when I learned that she had written a book about the devastating floods that almost drowned Chennai in 2015, Rivers Remember: the Shocking Truth of A Manmade Flood, a book that I promptly ordered and read. Chennai is one of my cities, a city I know a little, and love. A friend's family had been through harrowing times during this disaster, and this book gave a very well written, personal and also deeply analytical, view of this crisis.

A few days ago, while browsing on Amazon, I came across What We Know About Her, by Krupa Ge. The blurb was appealing, and the book was soon on my Kindle. I am so very glad that I bought this brilliant book. 

The narrator, Yamuna, is a young woman trying to make sense of her life, of her family history, of her doctoral studies, of her relationships. She visits Benares to spend time with her grandfather, Kannaiya, one of the most appealing and unusual characters I have ever come across. After the death of his beloved wife Subbu, several years ago, he eschews his erstwhile atheism because "I have to hope that it doesn't end here. How can it be that your grandmother and I are done?......I chose to believe that even though I can no longer see her, I can feel her. I can have conversations with her. The dead and the deities play the same role in the lives of the living. They are who we must turn to with life's questions."  Although he does not comment upon it, he is not happy with Yamuna's live-in relationship, but is perceptive enough to know that she is emotionally disturbed.

The narrator intersperses beautifully two story arcs, one in the early 1940's, where much of the narration is in the form of long and beautifully detailed letters that her grandmother, Subbu, writes to her beloved husband, Kannaiya. There is affection, friendship, and tenderness in their relationship. Yamuna is fascinated by her late grandaunt Lalitha, who was a renowned singer, and whose life and death both seem rather mysterious. Her mother tells her," When we hear stories of a nine-year-old married, or thirteen-year- old made in-charge of a household, we think of them a certain way. Like my grandmother and Lalithamma. I knew both women. It's not all 'oh poor dear' you know? They were more than there marriages. They had this ability to build worlds of their own. Limited-entry, invite-only worlds. Where they did as they pleased..........All the while aware of the fact that it was all brief; an incandescence. That it all had to be quickly dismantled and hidden away from those who sought to bind them.........Even in a deeply skewed world,this was possible then, it is possible now."                          

Some of the old stories are truly horrifying, the ways in which young girls are castigated by their own mothers and aunts. And yet, some of them manage to go beyond this punitive childhood training. It's a truly scathing account of women who become the handmaidens of patriarchy.                                      

The evacuation of Madras, intimately known as Patnam, during the second world war, materially affects the protagonist's family. Lalitha's description of the ghost town the city has become is chilling indeed. Her account of the vibrant world of music and cinema which Kannaiya introduces her to seem very real and are most appealing.

The present day arc is equally compelling. Yamuna's confusions, her grandfather's brilliant, gentle intervention in her life, her conflicted relationship with her mother, her depiction of modern day social life, social strata, the expectations within relationships that have the potential to destroy them, and so much more, all interwoven with past events, form a beautifully detailed tapestry with fascinating characters. The house in Chengalapattu is a character in its own right. The cities of Benares and Chennai come brilliantly alive. There is so much going on, with love, both filial and romantic, and forgiveness, playing a stellar role. It is an accurate portrayal of contemporary life with its own complexities....

This is a book to read and savour again and again.

Blessed are the Vague: For What they Know Not

The vague and the absent minded sometimes lead a charmed life. (Apart from driving their partners up the wall, several times a day, hunting for phone, glasses, wallet, important papers, car keys, basement keys, etc. etc.). " A lost and found and didn't even know it was lost" story from a couple of months ago: 

We were getting some renovations done in the flat we had bought, in the next building from our rented apartment. The spouse had to give some tiles to the contractor's men, tiles which had been stored in a basement storage a couple of buildings further away from ours. I was busy around the house, when I get a rather cryptic call on the intercom. 

Maydum, aapke ghar se koi phone missing hai?

(Ma'am, is there a phone missing from your house?)

My phone was with me, and presumably the spouse had his with him.

Pintu ko basement mein mila hai

(Pintu found it in the basement)

What an earth was Pintu doing in the basement? He was the contractor who was in charge of installing  my kitchen cupboards.

Woh keh raha aapke ghar ka phone hai.

(He says it belongs to your house).

I was, by then, thoroughly confused and irritated.

Maydum, aap uss number par call kar leejiye, clear ho jaayega.

(Ma'am, please call that number, everything will be clear)

That made sense. I dialled the spouse's mobile number.

Ma'am, mein Pintu driver bol raha hoon, Building X se. Building Y ke basement mein yeh phone mila thha.

Okay, there's more than one person called Pintu in the world! And this Pintu has my husband's precious iPhone! He tells me that he is in the lobby of Building X, with the security guard. I tell him that I'm just coming. I pick up some cash, my mask, and lock the flat behind me.

It turns out that Pintu Driver is a friend's driver, someone I know by sight. Since the spouse very rarely, if ever, walks in our complex, I am still wondering how Pintu knew that the dropped phone belonged to my house, and how did he know which flat I live in? There seems to be a very solid information network 'below stairs', as it were.

He hands me the phone, I hand him a tip. He demurs, but I insist. I apologize for the confusion.

And then I proceed to the new apartment, where the spouse is dealing with several different workmen.  I hand him his phone, telling him of its misadventures and emphasizing how I had to chase across the complex in the heat, thanks to his carelessness. 

He hadn't even missed it! 

What kind of wedding?

 Is marriage even relevant today? Many of us wonder, particularly in the urban upper middle class spaces that many of us here are privileged to occupy. It definitely supports many an industry, providing economic benefits to many: the designers, weavers, tailors, caterers, decorators, hotels, marriage halls, and what have you. So much so that sometimes the business generated by matrimony seems to overshadow the actual event: in essence, two people vowing to spend their lives together. These vows could be exchanged in either a legal, religious, or social ceremony. Ceremonies may have evolved over time, in different communities. Tying the knot, either actually or symbolically, often figures. The controversial part for many today is the giving away of the bride to the groom, which has been intrinsic to many cultures across the globe.

When I got married, many decades ago, I was young and starry-eyed, and didn't really question the basic Vedic rituals of our wedding. We had a very simple ceremony in an Arya Samaj temple, followed by lunch at the same venue. It was attended by as many family members and friends who could make it to Delhi at relatively short notice. No cards were printed. I wore a maroon and orange Kanjeevaram, with no zari, woven from an antique design and sourced by my dear teacher, Dr. Anandalakshmy. (I still wear it). I wore a choker made from my great-great-grandmother's bajuband (armlet), a small gold chain with a pendant and small jhumkas, a gold kada on each wrist, glass bangles, and my mother's heavy old paijeb (anklets). My father giving my hand to the groom didn't seem like a big deal at the time, although feminism had definitely become a part of our lives by then.  

Cut to our niece's wedding last November. The groom's parents were recovering from Covid and were too weak to travel, the bride's parents had other ailments making travel difficult, and the grooms's brother had to get back to his job abroad by a certain date, making it difficult to give sufficient legal notice for a court marriage, which is what the youngsters wanted. The spouse came up with the idea of an Arya Samaj wedding. History repeated itself in the self-same Arya Samaj temple, where we were the most senior family members present. The spouse explained to the priest that the kanyadaan part of the ceremony was not required. The priest was sensible enough not to argue about this! It so happened that the bride has an older sister, and the groom an older brother, so the couple was flanked by their siblings and their spouses for the duration of the ceremony. Of course there was live transmission of the ceremony to both sets of parents too. Masks were donned and all eighteen of us participants in this beautiful wedding went for lunch at an open air venue. A few days later, the couple went to visit both sets of parents in their respective cities...

I have loved Leila Seth's account of her son Shantum's wedding, on the banks of the Ganga.

I love weddings where the couple write and recite their own special vows.

I would love a ceremony wherein both sets of parents take their own child's hand, and put it into the partner's hand, simultaneously, blessing them both with a life together full of respect and love.

As parents of adult children, our role is to support them in any way that we can, and grant them the autonomy to live their lives as they choose. 

A marriage is far more than a wedding. Let the wedding ceremony not get in the way of the marriage.

I remember Michael Creighton's words: All love ends, either with the end of life, or the end of love.

Many youngsters no longer believe in marriage, as they have seen too many marriages break up.

In today's uncertain world, I would want my adult offspring to be reasonably happy, whichever way they choose to live.

A Stranger's Grief

Life can get complicated, the more you try to simplify it. When we bought our own flat, we indulged ourselves somewhat, with a beautiful black glass cooktop and chimney, pretty new tiles etc.. There was a longish gap between the installation of the kitchen equipment, and our actual move, so I actually couldn't light the stove once we did move, because I thought that the electric chimney and  electric gas ignition had a single switch, while they actually had two! (The spouse came to the rescue!) Then we discovered that a couple of the burners were malfunctioning, so a company representative came and set it right. I also felt that the burners were way too hot even at the lowest setting. I couldn't leave the milk to simmer without it boiling over, and most dry vegetables, especially bhindi, would invariably burn. This fellow, the CR for short, however, said that it couldn't be changed, much to my chagrin.

I bumbled along for almost a month, putting another pan under the pan I was cooking bhindi in, and getting used to the Hot Hob's moodiness. And learning to switch on the sleek black electric chimney,which promises to clean itself. I had all intentions of either buying new heavy bottom cookware, or buying a couple of handle-less tawas to use under my existing pans. Airing this intention on a visit to the younger son proved fruitful: he said that if not the hob company, the gas company technician would definitely be able to modify the burner settings. The gas company representative came , but advised us to call the hob company, as the equipment was new and its warranty status should not be jeopardized by having an outsider meddle with it.. And so yet another complaint was registered, and I was happy to learn that the young man who had originally installed the cooktop would be coming to rectify it. He had seemed competent, and was courteous and pleasant. 

He came in this week, and very quickly changed the settings of the three smaller burners. He was very apologetic about not being able to attend to our earlier problem, but said that he had been going through a difficult time. I asked him if he would like to talk about it, and it was as though a dam had burst. He told me that his six month old niece had died in hospital after a brief illness. This young man, in his early twenties, younger that my youngest child, was devastated by this loss. His sister had had a difficult pregnancy, and he had brought her to the city from her marital village. This young man, her husband, and their friends and colleagues, had all pampered her during her pregnancy, and had shared her joy in her beautiful little baby daughter. (She had delivered via C-section). I remembered the pain of losing my infant grand-niece, at two and a half months, and the gloom that had encompassed us all. I told him about the loss of my nephew to Covid. We had a long conversation. Perhaps he was late for his next assignment. It didn't matter. Two people who didn't know each other at all had connected in a kitchen. There's more grief in the world than we can imagine. Let us be kind to one another...

Still Blogging

Well, not regularly.Not the way I used to, when blogging was young, and Facebook was merely nascent.

But, Of This and That has been around for fourteen years now, off and n and has enriched my life in unimaginable ways. 

There has been a lot going on in our lives in the past month, most notably our shifting into our own apartment, both of us well into our sixties. (Thereby hang several tales). So I am celebrating this blog's fourteenth birthday a day late, with several excerpts from my Facebook posts. I hope to get back to regular programming soon.

I had decided to take a day off from my unpacking/settling the house activities, and went for a walk after many days. We had just finished with breakfast and lunch preparations were underway, when there was an almighty crash from the balcony. The black and white pot with the hibiscus with variegated leaves had smashed onto the floor. I found an empty pot and replanted it, tied the remaining pots to the balcony railing, and swept up the mess.

No rest for the wicked.

25th August 2021

Remembering my brother

Using the stemmed glasses

He gave us on his last visit

For this morning's orange juice.

Raksha Bandhan and Bhai Dooj

Have been hard these past many years

And losing my oldest (cousin) brother

Last year to Covid was very painful,

As was the tragic loss of my nephew.

But, as always, we owe it to the living

To celebrate them,

those who are with us still,

as long as time is with us...

24th August 2021

The infinite grace of rain that comes a few days after you have transported all your worldly goods, many in cardboard cartons.

Yeh sansaar kaagad ki pudiya

Boond padey ghul jaana hai

Sant Kabir

#AbhiRehnaHaiBiraaneyDesMein 21st August 2021

Small triumphs of the day:

We ate lunch at an uncluttered,full sized dining table, after a week of using one third to a half of it!

I found, after intense searching, the small suitcase which contained some really important things. It had been stuffed inside the guestroom bed drawer, and it was a very tight fit. I extricated it after an intense struggle.

I am learning to cook on the new hob. I still find the flame to be hotter than I am used to, hence...

I also find myself instinctively looking for things in the places they were in the old flat! Some of those places are in my former landlord's furniture, so I am doomed to waste a lot of time.

Defeating the many cartons one by one! It's a great adventure, and an exhausting one!

19th August 2021

I was hanging out the laundry when I saw water droplets falling from above,

And I looked out and witnessed the gentlest , briefest shower ever,

What Ma'am used to call the 'quality of mercy' rain.

(It's bright and sunny now).

It looked like a benediction.

I hope it was.

Two biggish triumphs today: made tea on the new gas stove which I couldn't light yesterday because I didn't realize that the electric chimney and electric ignition gas hob had two separate switches. The spouse came home and figured it out. I guess I will keep him after all!

And the washing machine is washing its first load here. Now to locate the clothes pegs!

18th August 2021

Today's small triumph: flattening the cartons as they are emptied, slowly and steadily!

I might even have a functional kitchen soon.

Boseji has been helping, bless him!

(Raga Multani, Sanjeev Abhyankar).

17th August 2021

We spent Independence Day moving to our own flat.

Same bed, same air conditioner, same layout presently occupied by several cartons.

Maneesha Taneja came over with a delicious dinner, and with plates, at my request, because I had no clue where my plates were. It was a triumph finding a glass from which to drink water, because the final packing was totally rushed, with no labelling. The fridge was taking time to actually cool things, so no cold water. It's fine now.

I woke up before five this morning, and have tried to unpack some of the kitchen cartons as quietly as possible. I found the electric kettle and we have had teabag tea with lemon.

I feel that I am finding new triumphs and challenges all the time!

16th August 2021

Settling in! Watered.

14th August 2021

The first living occupants of our new apartment in transit!

I hope they adjust to their new home, with sunshine in the afternoon, instead of early morning.

13th August 2021

The packers are here.

Moving to the adjoining building over the next couple of days.

Seeking all good wishes for a successful move with both worldly goods and sanity intact!

11th August 2021

Our home is occupied by two sexagenarian geniuses, who, after triumphantly bearing home Boseji, couldn't locate the connecting power cord!

(Neither the cord nor the remote are ever taken to the service centre).

The obvious places were the CD drawers and the bookshelf. Nada. Many unlikely places were also checked. This is a house with many many drawers and cabinets. Nada. Senior genius seemed to remember leaving the cord in the power strip, but was unable to locate it last night. After worry-sleeping all night, the junior genius, aka moi, went to the site. Plugs were pulled out of the power strip, attempting to follow them to source: i.e. which wire belongs to which device. As of now, our entertainment systems sit on a wrought iron and glass trolley, with a black table top perched vertically behind it to conceal the wires from the TV, VCD player (which seems dead), UPS, broadband device TataSky set top box, and Amazon Firestick. It is hard to trace plug to device. One wire was wrapped around the power strip, and seemed buried under the edge of the table top. Raised it a wee bit, and voila! It was actually Boseji's power cord! Yippee.

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

With power cords that do deceive!

Now to choose something good to listen to.

4th August 2021

Waiting for Boseji to be discharged!

Service centre (and hospital) admission and discharge procedures seem to be equally tedious.

Boseji is almost 14 years old now.

Has displayed hazaar nakhras over the years.

And has delighted my soul with exquisite sound quality.

Be well and stay well, please.

#GodBlessTheInanimateMembersOfOurFamiliesToo

3rd August 2021

A Yellow Plastic Screw

This little plastic screw

had been kept very carefully

In a little Chinese teapot

on top of the crockery cabinet

Part of a building set

We had given to a little boy,

My nephew's son,

On his last visit to our home

In December 2015.

(My older grandchild wasn't yet two,

The little boy a year and a half older).

We met after that,

At my granddaughter's

fourth birthday party,

And every year

At my sister's barsi,

The remembrance prayers

on her death anniversary

Little did we know that

That barsi, April 2019,

Would be the last time

We ever met my nephew.

The lockdown kept us apart,

Life kept us busy,

And then Covid snatched away

My nephew, the little boy's father.

And the screw,

that little yellow screw,

Is impossible for me

To throw away, or to keep:

The memory of

A once complete family.

31st July, 2021

Kamikaze kabootar

The balcony fan was on

to facilitate laundry drying.

Sudden strange sound

The spouse reports

Blood and gore and feathers

I cannot bear to look...

The corpse is removed.

Annoying though they are,

These pestiferous pigeons

I do not wish such a gory end

To any living creature.

26th July, 2021

Twice it flew up,

The shiny, dark, tiny sunbird

Up to the seventh floor

Hovering under the balcony tap

Slender beak inside, hopeful.

This good citizen opened

the tap a tiny bit,

A single drop taking its time

To fall to the floor below.

I didn't see the sunbird again

But two fat pigeons came and drank

The few drops they could find.

10th July, 2021

Garaj baras pyaasi darti par

Phir paani de Maula

Chidiyon ko daane

Bachchon ko gud dhaani de, Maula

Nida Fazli, once again, in his exquisite, profound simplicity.

And then I think of my woodpecking kabootar.

The other day it was pecking on the plaster, on the wall outside my kitchen.

That door and that wall are probably a source of moisture for the pigeons, since that area is washed every morning.

When I was writing down this poem, I first wrote 'Chidiyon ko paani', instead of daane.

I feel sorry for all thirsty creatures, but my compassion still doesn't run to encouraging the pooping pigeons.

It has rained, yesterday and today.

Less pigeon guilt!

3rd July, 2021